Reader Question:
we met a man online just who resides 500 kilometers out. He is 34 and that I’m 53. The guy did tell me he had a girl the guy dated “local lesbian chatly” and therefore he had been only on the website seeking pals. 3 months later on we noticed we thoughts for each some other.
Meanwhile, the guy still suggests he is having issues together with his girl, who is not somebody he is “dating” in your area. He is managing their and so they’ve already been collectively for four decades.
At long last made the decision we had to fulfill to find out if it was really worth seeking. The guy gave me the main reason the guy didn’t think it had been straight to do it as he was still with her. At long last offered him an ultimatum and informed him i possibly couldn’t play next fiddle. He professed his love but mentioned he had been extremely puzzled.
Perform we offer him ultimatum, its this lady or me? Am we wrong to ask him to manufacture that choice?
-Nancy (Florida)
Dr Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy! You published for me for honesty, right? Well, could you be sitting yourself down? Because right here arrives a honey pot of real life.
You will be living in fantasy secure, my dear girl. You haven’t also came across this person whom may or may not end up being a man and who may have a girlfriend.
I extremely advise you see the documentary “Catfish” (available on iTunes and Netflix) about an internet really love scam.
But even although you never accomplish that, let’s assume for a while he’s in fact exactly who he states he could be and ignore the fact he started writing for your requirements by lying about their connection condition.
Let us just go through the alleged facts.
A.) He’s nearly 20 years more youthful than you.
B.) He is in a serious relationship.
C.) He told you from the beginning he is merely looking to be pals.
And so I ask you, why might you exposure the cardiovascular system on such an awful choice?
Practical question should not be about providing him an ultimatum, but rather, in the event you allow yourself the really love you need?
If that’s the case, then this is not the pony you will want to ride in to the sunset with. Work, lady!
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